I was looking at some submitted job applications at my workplace the other day, and some of the stuff people put on their applications was so out of control, I felt the need to compile a few of them:
Prompt: Briefly describe the role technology plays in your life.
"I would assume that without advanced technologies, I wouldn't be able to survive until today." The first thing I pictured when I read this one was someone in an iron lung. Or someone who is otherwise literally being kept alive by modern medical technology. Or someone who was involved in some kind of terrible accident, and the only way to save them was to transplant their brain and maybe a few organs into a cyborg body.
"I possess a stron knowledge of technology..." Yes, stron. This was handwritten! Skills do not include attention to detail.
"Technology is like 90% of my life, without my computer I wouldn't know what else to do to fill up my daily life." Another cyborg. 90% robot parts, 10% man. Also... get some friends.
I should point out that nearly ALL the applications we get have answered this using some variation of the following sentence: "Technology has had an important role in my life, and has influenced me in all aspects of my life." This is pretty weak when you consider what the prompt was. I think we should add a rule to this prompt: Your answer must not contain the words "role," "technology," or "life."
Prompt: How did you hear about [where I work]?
"I see them come into classrooms from time to time." THEM! This makes me feel like I am a part of some kind of secret society or underground organization, and maybe people catch a glimpse of our shrouded figures from time to time and want to learn our ways.
"I am a Journey Level certified ASE Auto Technician..." I don't even know what that means, but it made me think of the band Journey, and that's awesome.