28 June 2008

Talent shows I have remembered

I'm sure I was in plenty of talent show audiences in grade school up through high school (I've never been IN a talent show, by the way - my talents aren't the kind that entertain crowds) but I really barely remember any of them. There are only two specific acts that I remember, even though I have no idea who the performers were.

The first was in elementary school, and some girls who I don't think were even in 5th grade yet performed some kind of dance routine to the Spice Girls song, "2 Become 1." You know, the one that is explicitly about having sexual relations*, albeit in a responsible way - "Be a little bit wiser baby, put it on, put it on." OMG, right!? Who approved that act? I remember thinking it was weird, but for reasons that I would not really be able to put my finger on until later.

The other one was middle school, just some kid doing a one-man show based on scenes from "The Matrix." That involved some really flat dialogue, saying "Whoa" a lot, and flailing around as though reacting to gunfire in Bullet Time. It was unremarkable, but for some reason it has stuck with me.

*My favorite euphemism for DOING IT, by the way, is "gettin' mad rutty." See also: "jazz hose." Oh, Achewood.

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