06 June 2008

Dr. Jones, Dr. Jones

Why isn't Short Round in the new Indiana Jones movie? Just kidding! The fact that I know he's not, despite not yet having seen the movie, indicates that I know why not.

I would love to see Jonathan Ke Quan in there, though. I hear you out there, all, "Who?" Keep up, I'm still talking about Short Round. My vision is of a grown-up Short Round in a Very Special Cameo where he starts to say something in an "Asian" accent, but this time everyone is just kind of appalled, so he drops the act and addresses the audience briefly on how racial stereotyping is just not what we're about anymore. But then he winks, or pulls a fortune cookie from his pocket (and maybe drops a little bit of it and steps on it so it audibly crunches), so we know it's still him, and he's not mad at us... he's mad at the situation.

I just looked up what Short Round is up to these days, and OMG he is 36. Not that you would know it by his IMDB picture, in which he will be 12 always and forever. According to IMDB he does martial arts stunt choreography. Man, when are Asian folks in Hollywood ever going to be able to find success without being a total stereotype? (At least yellowface seems to more or less have gone away.)

This is my favorite thing I found out about him: "When phoning his mother during the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) movie shoot, he referred to George Lucas and Steven Spielberg as bearded man 1 and bearded man 2."

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