Tracks

I'm home for the holidays now, and I've taken to wandering around my old neighborhood, as I've always done. I find my neighborhood engaging enough as it is, but this week it's had the added enrichment of Snow, and Lots Of It.

Every day I've been going out to see who's been around: there have been raccoon tracks investigating a trash can, rat tracks hurrying to a hidey hole - perhaps related to the nearby tracks of a cat and her kittens. The tracks of the rare and illusive mailman, making a wide garland from porch to porch. Also, pony tracks - definite horseshoe prints along the sidewalk. Unexpected!

A few times now while out and about, I've encountered my father, also out and about. We are similar in that it takes us a while to just get down the block, because there is really just so much to stop and see. I get this 100% from my dad - the wandering gene must be dominant over the recessive genes which restrict my mother to strictly Point-A-to-Point-B travels. Sure, she'll make the occasional additional stop - as long as it lies along Line AB.

Anyway - the wandering is here in my storytelling too, it seems - once I was the one being tracked by my snowy footprints. I had doubled back at some point and nearly threw my father off, but he soon recovered, and eventually there we were together. I showed him the phantom raccoons, the cats, the pony.

We spent some time fabricating tracks to baffle anyone else who might be about. Hop on one foot with an upturned shovel as a crutch, and what do you get? Pirate tracks.

The Frystache

The other day I found a French fry that looked exactly like a mustache.

It was imbued with the power to transform the already handsome into the devastatingly dashing:


Then I ate it! Now it's a part of me... forever.

A bunch of videos

You guys know this Beyonce song and video, right? I love the video, and I wish every music video was like this - a performance, rather than the telling of some unrelated narrative or whatever else people are always trying to depict in videos these days. Case in point: A-Ha's Take On Me. Alright, so 1984 is not exactly "these days," but my point is, the story told in the video has nothing to do with the story (if there even is one) told in the song. Of course, the only reason I have had all this on my mind lately is because of this brilliant piece of work...

Anyway, back to Beyonce! This video first came to my attention from this Boing Boing post which showcases an amazing homage performance, as well as the truest statement ever: "If you feel moved to sneer, *you* try re-creating a Beyoncé video, shot by shot, shimmy by shimmy, while clad only in asymmetrical underwear." Truth!

Beyonce and J. Timb were also on SNL recently doing a funny attempted remake of the video, unfortunately this subtitled version is the only one I can find online right now. Hee, Paul Rudd. SNL is pretty bad these days though, isn't it? Basically the only guaranteed laughs for me are bits with Andy Samberg or Justin Timberlake.

So, my last post. Maybe you guys were wondering where the heck I came from, and where I've been! Maybe you weren't... that's OK too. Basically, I used to live by one ocean, and now I live next to a different ocean. I keep meaning to do a long, comprehensive write-up of what has been going on in my life in the past few months, but the notion of doing that is overwhelming because there's too much to say.

Here's something fun: baby rats!

That's Beanie on the left, and Spigot on the right. This picture is kind of a miracle because it features both of them, and they are sitting relatively still - 8 week old rats are wiggly.

Things that made me L to the OL recently

- This, which describes Usher's head as being shaped like a butternut squash... the most apt comparison ever.

- The fact that R. Kelly finally has a grown man's haircut, as noted by this blogger.

- Aboard the SS Redonkulous.

- "For really exciting penetration have your man thrust his arm directly through your torso and kind of blend into your back."

- From Ask Metafilter, a question about bathroom facilities on a roof. Best answer: "Maybe it's time to stop inviting Razak to parties."

- Ugly cupcake cakes, actually anything on Cake Wrecks.

Vote 4 Scout

Hey, remember Scout and Piper from my dogsitting stint? Aubrey's mom says... "Scout and Piper are in this photo contest, and the winner gets a discount on the next class. Please help finance Scout’s advanced puppy class by going to this site and voting for Scout!"

The contest is here: http://ahimsadogtraining.com/poll/photo.php

In that picture, Scout is staying put while Hazel is in the water chasing a float. That's pretty good staying! Could YOU do that at 5 months? I doubt it.

Please vote if you have a moment!

When you're R. Kelly

Despite the fact that I'm mildly obsessed with R. Kelly, I hadn't seen Trapped In The Closet until just yesterday. I had heard it was a million parts long, and for some reason I thought that the whole thing lasted hours and hours and I felt like I just didn't have the time or energy to commit to that much R. Kelly madness. I also mistakenly thought that it was a story told via a bunch of different songs, rock opera style - and again, I couldn't muster up the level of commitment it would take to parse through something like that.

But as it turns out, each part is short, and features the same music over and over and over and over and over! It's not really made up of songs so much as it is a rambling narrative told to music. And it's really way crazier than anything I could have ever imagined. I have so many questions... but I actually had to stop after part 5 because it got too intense for me. SPOILER ALERT, I called it that the guy his wife was sleeping with was the cop: I thought it was a curiously specific detail to mention that the cop flicked his cigarette away when they were on the side of the road, then later when he smelled cigarettes in his bedroom, I KNEW. Robert insists his audience's detective skills be honed sharp!

Anyway it's been over 24 hours and I still don't feel ready for the rest of it. But I will continue on, someday, and you'll be hearing about it.

Today, Rich at FourFour posted this amazing R. Kelly interview. My favorite thing about this... is everything. I feel like I should be transcribing this just in case it does get taken down. Seriously, my favorite part is where the interviewer mentions that people around R. Kelly, such as his manager and brother, have expressed concern about his behavior, and Kells tries to brush it off like everyone who speaks out against him is someone who used to work for him, but was fired and now has a chip on their shoulder. I'm concerned, and I'm pretty sure I've never been fired by the Pied Piper of R&B.

Interviewer: But your brother Carey... was not fired, he's still your brother.
R. Kelly: He was fired.
Interviewer: But he's still your brother.
R. Kelly: Doesn't matter. He's still my brother, but if he's still my brother, why did he get fired? [He says this with a tricky, master-of-logic look]
Interviewer: Why DID he get fired?
R. Kelly: I can't get into that.

Also - "Do not listen to the people that was fired. Don't even listen to the people that was hired!"

I'm... trying to?

Describing Usher's head as being shaped like a butternut squash is the most apt comparison I have ever heard.

I'm having a rough time lately with Life Stuff, so I have been sublimating my FEELings by keeping constantly busy working on various projects. Also, apparently, by eating ice cream and Internetting in the middle of the night.

Project highlights!

- Fingerless gloves for dad, using this pattern and some of my beloved lambswool.
- Alpaca hat for mom, pattern not online.
- Little things like this baby hat for Afghans For Afghans. Pattern here, easy and cute.
- A cross-stitch inspired by Subversive Cross Stitch. I did up my own pattern, and it's pretty simple, but I find cross-stitch really boring so I never want to work on it for any extended period of time. Right now I could literally be done with it after 10 minutes of dedicated stitching, but the reality is that I probably won't pick it up again for a while.
- And my current favorite thing, GIANT SHIRT. I bought a giant shirt!

O'er the ocean

Here is a picture of an exercise my dude and some other folks put together recently (see also picture of the day here, or front page article of the most recent and sort of adorable Penny Press):


Meanwhile, here is something I observed this summer on Lake Union:


It's the Duck Navy! Five in front, and three way in the back, on the very right side of the picture. They rendezvoused and conspired under the shade of a tree, then suddenly all charged out in formation and went cruising around. I though they looked pretty sharp, but C. had this to say:

"Their spacing is a little lax. Not indicative of their seamanship at all."

What they lack in seamanship they apparently make up for in entertainment value, as later on I got another email from him on the topic...

“I took your photo of the ducks and invented a tactical signal (using existing doctrine) that would order the other ducks into station off the first one, the guide...

The first duckie (on the left) is the guide - as if he were the underway replenishment ship, or the ship the others come to to get gas and stores. Then there's one on his STARBOARD QUARTER (behind him and to the right) who would be in 'waiting station', waiting for the oiler to call him alongside. The one directly behind him is in 'lifeguard station', hanging out behind in case any peeps fall overboard!

Then I wrote that the two at the top of the picture were Iranian Navy, coming close to get a look and see what we're doing.”